JAN MOIR: Palace pop party was glorious, victorious… but drones stole the show

Opera song

The Platinum Party at the Palace began with a tea party of hilarity, when Paddington and the Queen shared marmalade sandwiches and a moment this country will never forget.

But how to do better? Somehow the party worked out, with Rod Stewart frolicking in pearls, Prince Charles talking about his ‘mom’, Brian May playing guitar next to the Queen Victoria statue and even the charming Jason Donovan dusting off his role as Joseph and wondering if a dream would do. . Speaking of which, can I go back to the beginning?

For over two hours, the Platinum Party was the best of us, it was the worst of us, it was glorious and victorious – but also a little fake. Who doesn’t love Diana Ross, but what was the Motown legend doing as the headliner celebrating HM the Queen and Britain’s finest?

The drone show was a highlight, a joy from start to finish. It featured giant corgis, a confetti of red hearts floating from a royal purse, a set of cruets of guards in their bearskins, and a teapot pouring tea; the absurd but beloved pageantry of royal life, highlighted by fairy lights against a velvet summer sky

According to the show’s presenter, Lee Mack, Miss Ross is “a particular favorite of the royal family”. News for most of us! Including, one suspects, the Windsors.

Unfazed, Diana climbed aboard in a monochrome tulle teapot and glided across the stage outside Buckingham Palace like a fabulous Dalek, whose diamonds were visible within the confines of the Who universe. “I am filled with admiration for you, Your Majesty,” she trilled, queen to queen.

Another surprise act was Alicia Keys, who skillfully dealt with her own lack of royal connections and knowledge. “When I’m in London, it reminds me so much of New York,” she said before embarking on her big hit Empire State of Mind. Sadly, this doesn’t celebrate the pink parts of the map or the Queen’s kingdom, but Alicia’s hometown of New York.

Still, it’s a great song and top marks to Alicia for her gorgeous royal cape.

Yet there were some wonderful moments that truly encompassed the best of British talent and creativity. The show was superbly conceived and produced, while the global backdrop made the heart sing. From the row of Union flags lining the mall, to the palace itself, to the sunset over the London skyline, it was spectacular and beautiful.

Sir Rod arrived in person, Sir Elton teleported from Windsor but why not Sir Tom Jones?  A particular shame because, even at 81 - and tomorrow is his birthday - Tom's vocal cords are like strings of gold compared to Rod's shattered tonsils

Sir Rod arrived in person, Sir Elton teleported from Windsor but why not Sir Tom Jones? A particular shame because, even at 81 – and tomorrow is his birthday – Tom’s vocal cords are like strings of gold compared to Rod’s shattered tonsils

The drone show was a highlight, a joy from start to finish. It featured giant corgis, a confetti of red hearts floating from a royal purse, a set of cruets of guards in their bearskins, and a teapot pouring tea; the absurd but beloved pageantry of royal life, highlighted by string lights against a velvet summer sky.

Back to a line-up dominated by who wasn’t there, rather than who was. Sir Rod arrived in person, Sir Elton teleported from Windsor but why not Sir Tom Jones? A particular shame because, even at 81 – and tomorrow is his birthday – Tom’s vocal cords are like strings of gold compared to Rod’s shattered tonsils.

No Adele, no Madness, no Proclaimers, who have all sung to the hearts of the nation – but maybe it all comes down to who is ready, able and willing – and who is on the wrong track. Speaking of which, William but not Harry, the unsung drama of the night.

Another surprise act was Alicia Keys, who skillfully dealt with her own lack of royal connections and knowledge.

Another surprise act was Alicia Keys, who skillfully dealt with her own lack of royal connections and knowledge. “When I’m in London it reminds me so much of New York,” she said before embarking on her big hit Empire State of Mind

No matter what was happening on the stages, what I wanted was a Royal Box camera, fixed on the bloated VIP gumbo that bubbled up in the seats behind the Cambridges. Culture Secretary Nadine Dorries experiences a bit of culture for once, Nicola Sturgeon turning greener than the grass at home to be surrounded by so many Union flags waving happily, so many display of unity and British pride.

Ultimately, it was a show that had to cram into rock, rap, opera, hip hop, music, fashion, sports, and royalty. It was never going to please everyone, but it was a solid evening of entertainment.

“It’s a who’s who of top turns,” said presenter Kirsty Young, whose return to broadcasting has made her a top turn herself.