Michigan Daily editors do it all. In addition to being students with full course loads, they roll up their sleeves to consume media and write. For the entertainment of our loyal readership, the Michigan Daily has revitalized and revamped “Baked, Buzzed, Bored.” In the interests of journalism, three or more writers sacrifice their health and more than 3 hours of their lives to watch a TV show or movie while high (“baked”), drunk (“buzz”) or sober (“bored”). This item has been slightly modified to maintain the authenticity of the piece.
This week, three writers watched “Annette” by Leos Carax.
COOKED:
Ratings
SPARKS
CINEMA LIVES
The REEEEEEEDDDD MARION
I CAN’T BELIEVE HIS NAME IS HENRY MCHRNRY
PREDICTING YOUR DEATH
JESUS?
Henry and the choristers
This shit slaps
Hahahahajahahaha
Why did he become an actor?
You ILLITERATE
Acute titration
WE are the audience
Why? The best question
You missed his ASSSSSS
Give us a smile please
This lighting
WE LOVE EACH OTHER
The greatest musical number of all time
Dutch angles!!!
It’s green with envy
Show ass again!!!
tickle time
“It makes me want to be a virgin again”
The hat the shoebox
“This part is really good”
Teasing means sex
“It’s so A24”
The tunnel is a spiral because it’s going crazy
BABY CLOWN
It’s my baby
Listen to me: Annette but it’s Raising Arizona
He follow shot
i killed my wife
I checked madly
This is how I killed my wife
How did no one think he did? No one thought to mention this act
red for anger
The songs are all fucking you for the public
Henry is Carax
It is CONTROVERSIAL
Our love is in danger
Baby Annette
(Dramatic music plays)
HE JUST MURDERED HER
Oh that’s right ’cause they blame the crash
It’s a sea-creature
i am a good father
The pattern of the monkey (monkey god)
Rhiannette
Look at the title screen
He has a beard now
He was in love with her
(yelling)
Henry McHenry is Lavar Ball?
82 million views
It’s like the… I don’t remember what I was saying
You had no rights at all
He is going to kill this guy
Simon Helberg came out with a big BANG
It’s poggers
THE HYPER BOWL
Rams will win the hyper bowl
Baby Annette is a baby after all
Daddy kills people
Who will die for us? Like the Jesus thing earlier
It’s like the producers
I hope it will never end
She’s a real girl
buzzed:
I can’t believe I accepted this
Baked calls for calm. I can’t start quiet it’s too much
Viewer (during a rare moment of silence): “I watched this movie alone in my parents’ room”
Yeah, you may start not knowing why you keep asking
Confirmed that it is in fact The Dparjs
I can’t believe this is the man from Bug Bang Theory
I can’t believe Adam Driver agreed to do this
The saxophone hit and an onlooker said “OO! » ; another viewer now thinks this song is amazing. I have mixed feelings, but maybe it’s the wine.
Green bathroom + banana + cigarette = atmosphere
I like a good mirror shot
I can’t believe this opened the Cannes Film Festival… but so did Shrek so who knows
Why are they cheering for this “comedy” show
I’m glad I’m drunk because I think this movie already feels like a fever dream, but maybe the buzz will make one fun fever dream
He’s just a worse Bo Burnham, poor Bo Burnham, Bo Burnham would never be
“ABYSS, you illiterates”…maybe that’s my new motto in life maybe it’s not
I went to the bathroom and missed Adam Driver’s ass. Pity.
What kind of paparazzi invests in the life of a weirdo comedian and an opera singer
These songs ain’t even good
The viewer is right, every song is the same phrase repeated over and over
“What’s going on? Why are they singing?
Baked: “It’s art, shit”
Oscar-nominated actor Adam Driver is licking his feet?!?!?
Who knew talking-singing could be so scary
I love that one of the spectators sings all the songs
WHY DOES THE BABY LOOK LIKE THIS
Spectator: “That’s weird” no shit
Not the puppet oh my god
A gorilla ????????????
They are weird as of course a man named “Henry McHenry” would be super weird obviously Marion Cotillard and her blunt bob deserve better
The director lost me with all the weird superimposed images
“I killed my wife” what is this movie
I have a question why does he take off his shoes
Another viewer suggests we should just watch “Inside” instead and I agree
Although Adam Driver has nice abs, so maybe I’m fine, even if his singing voice is rough
Baked: “It is conTrOvERsiAL”
WHY EVERYONE THINKS I’M IN SOPHOMORE
One of the viewers is on the floor but that’s because of a separate conversation definitely not this movie
“I’m not that drunk” (is that a quote from the movie or people you’ll never know)
Why does the baby puppet have wrinkles
A spectator’s grip: I had already forgotten it, it’s devastating
It’s chaos
Speech by Bill Nye
I’m so lost but like why Simon Helberg is hot with a beard
Spectator: “Top 10 movie screams, easy”
Baked is too much in this
Why does Annette steal…why everyone accepts her no questions asked
I’ll be honest I don’t like Annette
Why does he sound like that when he sings I’m honestly scared no matter how I feel about it Adam Driver
Spectator wondering if I write yeah duh I
Writing
Again they doubt that I write and they are simply wrong
Another viewer doubts I’m writing, these fools don’t understand
I DO NOT BLOCK MY SPECTATOR WORDS
Green is a metaphor, apparently
Baked, increase the volume of the hyper bowl, it’s just too much
Omg it’s the wolverines of Michigan
Lady Gaga scams these are
The hyperbowl scene is nonsense
“Dad killed people” AND THEN IT GOES BLACK ??????
He is you are so right
Why does the clerk talk like that
This movie lost me a long time ago and I’m in a riddle because being drunk is one of the few ways to enjoy the movie, but also being drunk makes it very hard to appreciate the movie, so maybe… is it an unassailable film?
The birthmark as a metaphor for his corruption… ok I guess
Oh she’s real now I guess
You know what I respect this kid, she kills her and really puts the weird Adam Driver character in his place
Skeptics thought I wouldn’t write anything MANY JOKES ABOUT YOU I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT EVER
Lots of chaos maybe it’s the wine talking but I’d rather watch this
BORED:
We’ve reached the end of the first clip I’ve seen before and I don’t know what to expect.
So there’s a comedian walking around (correction: limp for some reason) (I looked down to type this and now he’s burning things) and insulting his audience and himself and what a world is this .
I’ve been trying to figure out what to say about it, but there’s nothing I can remember that’s happened so far. That’s just – that might as well be the next thing.
There’s also an opera singer (into the opera that this whole movie is apparently?) with an interesting hairline. Looks like she’s trapped in a maze but maybe I missed something. She sings now.
okay, the song he sings about ann bowing down is really bad. As if I couldn’t decide to like it. Some of the movies I’m very ambivalent about so far.
He just got “shot down” on stage.
Despite the ridicule and confusion, I’m a bit annoyed by this scene. Come on, have the fake kid I know you are going to, stop singing the same thing to the public.
Alright, the bathrobe is gone. Let’s move on.
So the first song was actually a song but now it just screams the same line in a very loud and threatening way.
Really show not say with the song “we love each other”. Why is the song always aggressive?
(The show has since been mocked, say no comment, consider moving to the Notes app)
WHY did the baby doll just turn her head? Now I can only imagine a puppeteer hiding somewhere in bed and operating the doll.
Did he just burn the baby? Did I miss something.
okay, but the thing about “being weird and random to be weird and random” is that I still have no reason to keep watching this and I don’t care what happens. If I was watching this alone, I would skip to the hyperbowl scene and then stop watching. Why does it have to be so long?
“there’s absolutely no desire left” yeah i have absolutely no desire to watch this anymore, haven’t we ever seen you do a whole comedy series?
He takes his shoes off, which is one scene too many that focuses on people’s feet.
Imagine watching the scene you’re supposed to be in and seeing that you’re supposed to put your partner’s feet in your mouth.
A lot has happened and Annette is levitating now.
There was no epilepsy warning before this and there had to be.
Did he just pull a body out of the woods? As a sober writer, I feel like I should be more aware of what’s going on.
I didn’t want to know that Henry Mchenry had the same wedding ring as my father.
I realize that the three scenes I had already seen gave me as much context and understanding of this film as watching it in full. Except watching the clips is funny and watching the whole thing makes me depressed.
This is the last scene!!!!
I feel like Adam Driver is a little sick.
